Dan 3

Historical facts

  • That you would get executed for desertion
  • That in the army you had to do hard labour
  • That a lieutenant had a lot of power
  • That the natives were very kind
  • That the lieutenants were very mean

I felt sorry for the dog so I gave it back to Waruwi but a soldier noticed me and forced me back to camp the lieutenant said I would be executed at dawn and that he didn’t have any choice. It was governors orders he really couldn’t do anything I was sad that I would get executed. The soldiers found a good place in the woods and then they started to make an execution point. They were going to shoot me it was stomach turning to think about it. I needed to think of a plan until Waruwi came she was holding a puppy I new she understands. I could give this to the governor and I wouldn’t get executed so I went to bed happy. The day of execution came they got me to the post and got there gun out lieutenant Roberts asked if I had any last words I responded with yes. I said that I didn’t steal the dog he looked like he would say dan this is not the time but I gave him the puppy. Give this to the governor good job dan he said and I didn’t get executed.

6 thoughts on “Dan 3”

  1. I liked how you expressed Dan’s feelings. I also liked how you wrote the detail. Something I think you should improve on is you should take off the notes at the top and make it sound more interesting.

  2. I liked how you added a lot of detail about this and how you expressed Dan’s feelings when things were going to happen. I think you could improve on being a bit more accurate when writing the story as he wasn’t going to get executed, but just getting flogged. You could also use better punctuation and grammar as some of the sentences you wrote doesn’t make sense.

  3. First of all, the notes at the top don’t have to be there in fact, it might have been better if they were not there at all. The reason I am saying this is because readers don’t really want to see notes, they want to get straight into the story. I liked how much detail you put in but the story isn’t really that accurate. Maybe you could make the sentences smaller and/or shorter. But overall I like the story.

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