Cold, melting and hungry that’s how I felt let me explain how I got here. I’m chilling around with all my polar bear friends I decide to go for a swim so we all did. Then my friend frank saw a iceberg in the distance he dared me to jump on it and break it . I went on and it started to drift away I got scared and didn’t want to jump off because I new predators would eat me. Also I didn’t know how to swim so I sat scared and hungry as I drifted further away from home.
Hello Oliver,
What a sad story told so well. For polar bears, this can be a real situation. Hunting across the ice gives them food but as the ice is disappearing from the north, polar bears can go hungry.
There were a couple places in your story where you might have started a new sentence but I can see you know how to tell a good story. Keep writing!
Ross Mannell (Team 100)
Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia